Welcome Week Magic: Turning Unfamiliar Faces into Lifelong Friends

Written by Leah Oake 

Thumbnail & Banner Photo by Photo by Surface on Unsplash

While university gives us degrees, career paths and a strong life trajectory, the most important thing to take away is friendships. Remember saying goodbye to your friends after high school graduation? The people in your graduating class grew up with you, had awkward phases alongside you and went through similar struggles and hardships that all teenagers experience. Now, imagine all of that but you are an adult with fully formed opinions, loves and motives. The friends that you make in university are usually important people who will never leave your heart. Will you remember the formula to an equation from Critical Thinking 101 in ten years? Probably not. Will you remember the party that you and your friends went to where you laughed all night long? Yes. Making friends is an expected course of action in most new scenarios, but it is not always as easy as it seems. The most crucial time (and easiest time) to make friendships is your first week back in school. Whether you are a first-year or a master’s student there always is time to make new relationships. An easy way to get your foot in the door when it comes to making friends is through societies. I’ve written articles about society fairs and the importance of them in the past but this one will have a different approach. Instead of just merely listing why society fairs help improve x, y and z, this article will touch on what you can do as a student to allow societies to help you. Societies can only do so much, you have to take some steps as well!

Know What You’re Looking For 

First, think about what type of friends you are looking for. When gaining friends through societies, there are typically already shared interests. Do you want to engage with people based on your academic or recreational interests? The society fair occurs every fall and winter season. It is a time when all of the societies fill the campus with their own custom booths in order to gain new members and attraction. When the fair is approaching, it is a good idea to have a list of societies that you are interested in acquainting yourself with. This way you can see and engage with the people you are thinking of investing your time in. For example, if I am a student pursuing commerce but I also love to debate I would look for the commerce society and debate society. This way, I could see if one of them speaks to me more or if I want to be a part of both! A mistake often made is people go into the fairs purely excited to see everything SMU has to offer without clear interests in mind. Don't get me wrong, that's great! As a first year, that is a great way to look at things to ensure you are not closing any doors! People should learn about everything our wonderful school offers. But a lot of the time people sign up for dozens of societies and then never become active members. If you have a general idea of what you want to get out of the fair, it will help you invest your time and energy wisely. You can make the most of the fair by making up a list of questions you want to be answered throughout your conversations. Don’t be scared to grill executives! You are entitled to know exactly what their society is about. Questions can be centred around what the events are like, who the society is marketed towards and what the commitment level is. Questions can help provide clarity. Once you’ve decided what society suits you, join it!

Photo by Jametlene Reskp on Unsplash

Icebreaker Strategies

When interacting with society executives or possible new friends it can be anxiety inducing. Here are some helpful questions that can integrate you into these conversations with ease. Start conversations with some basic questions surrounding the event: 

“What brought you here?” 

“Have you been a part of a society before?”

And then follow up with some more focused questions:

“Are you looking forward to this semester?”

“What year are you?”

The answers to these questions can lead to a longer and more in-depth discussion. Having these conversations can allow you to see if the person you are speaking with has any common interests or desires as yourself. Icebreaker questions always begin with some awkward tension but once you break past those initial spooks the conversation will become more natural! Overcoming anxiety and shyness during welcome weeks is vital to your well-being within the school, academically and socially. If the anxiety you are experiencing is more than the average student, consider looking further into the on-campus resources to help combat it. 

Prepare for Society Fairs 

In addition, learn about the welcome week events that SMUSA and other societies are offering. In addition, the ResLife calendar can be a huge asset (especially if you live on campus). Those events are held specifically to gain attention from students and form bonds between them. A big caveat a lot of people face is the rate at which people are made aware of these events. A lot of students face the issue of finding out about events after they’ve already happened. Don't be scared to ask SMUSA (email karla.hodge@smu.ca for more focused information) to help with societal direction! If SMUSA isn't aware of events happening then that society needs to read my recent article (wink wink)! Actively connecting with societies can only prove successful in your quest for friendship! 

People often make the mistake of disregarding welcome week events because of initial anxieties (I am a victim of this). But, by doing this you are susceptible to missing out on foundational friendships and fun events. Whether it is a get-to-know-you meeting or an event at the Gorsebrook – don't miss out! A general rule of thumb is to get out there! Make your face known. That mindset can turn a small wave from a vaguely familiar face to a full-blown strong friendship. 

Participate in Welcome Week Events 

No matter what, you do not want to miss the first meetings or events of your desired new society. Those formidable meetings can secure your feelings about society and the other members. Do you truly see yourself being active in the group? These meetings/events can help that decision. As I previously stated, anxieties are natural when coming into a new space but I have faith that you can conquer! Put on your nicest shirt, get that charisma of yours shining and get ready to wow! But, I’ll let you in on a secret; everyone will likely feel similarly! There will be the overly excited students, the shy quiet ones and the anxiously adamant ones. No matter what one you identify with, there are other students out there who will suit you perfectly. After meeting new people, follow up by suggesting activities or study sessions. This could help solidify new connections and turn acquaintances into friends. SMU is full of resources to help you succeed! The peer success centre is an incredibly useful resource for first and second-year students! You have access to one-on-one coaching with another SMU student!  There are also dozens of volunteering opportunities on campus that will not only help with your resume but also help you meet more possible friends! While I have named plenty of on-campus resources and ways to make those friendly connections, there are definitely many things I have missed. If there is an area of interest you were looking for that I did not mention, that does not mean SMU does not offer it! Do your own research! You never know what you will find.  

Friendships are one of the most beautiful gifts life bestows on us. Finding those friend soulmates will serve you well in the long run. As we embark on the upcoming semester, I will leave you with this last piece of advice: don’t get lost. It’s easy in the beginning to get overwhelmed by new classes and schedules but don't let that sweep you under the rug. Get coffee with that mere acquaintance and go downtown with those class friends.