Planting Your Roots and Growing New Branches
Written by Leah Oake
Thumbnail & Banner Photo by Chris Nagahama on Unsplash
Whether you are a native of the province or from elsewhere, coming to Saint Mary's University – or any university for that matter – is a hard adjustment. The media paints university life in a very cookie-cutter way, meaning that there is one valid experience, this is the only experience shown. It is expected that you immediately make friends, join societies, and party, but that is only the “picture perfect” idea. The majority of students battle against anxiety when joining a new community and are unable to easily integrate like the media expects them to. It is a tough task to battle balance intense school work and social gatherings. The scale is not easy to adjust to. Imagine: it's the first week of the semester. A new student from out of province is walking the campus for the first time. They see cliques from years prior and ache to develop that sense of community. They introduce themselves to the people sitting on either side of them in their 10:00 am class and have a brief conversation about their majors and other classes for the semester, but the conversation does not delve into any more detail. They wave in passing and share small smiles in the hall, but eventually, as the semester progresses the waves don’t happen as often. They are stuck back right where they started, while others have formed formidable friendships.
Wanting to fit in is a truly human craving. Even if the want is there fear takes over causing the beast at hand (connection) to be almost too intimidating to challenge. During the society fair (one of my previous articles is focused indepthly on the fair!) the quad is plastered with already-formed friendships, joyful laughter and excitable students, which can be incredibly intimidating for those new to university. How can you penetrate already-made bonds? Personally, I didn’t feel like I was able to have those university friendships everyone seemed to talk about until the end of my second year. I got swept up with school work and the overcoming desire to participate in everything, especially during my first year. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I watched all of my fellow first years have that media-articulated university life I was told I was supposed to have. But while they were partying I was too anxious to ask someone from my Critical Thinking class to hang out. I felt completely alone, and like I was the only person to have ever experienced something like this. Of course, I know that’s silly to think now, but then I truly was confused. Since then, I've heard many stories of people who experienced similar first-year experiences, but man, I wish I heard those when I was experiencing them in real-time.
Getting overwhelmed is natural, but despite the pressure to fit in and participate, you must ground yourself. Staying true to your interests and goals can help your integration process feel more natural and adjustable. Societies are a great way to achieve the sense of community you may be searching for. They provide you with not only fun events but incredible people who can have an everlasting impact. Instead of throwing yourself into the largest society to try and make connections, look for a society that matches your goals and desires. If you are a climate or environmental enthusiast or academically aligned in that way, look into the environmental society. This fall semester they are planning a paint night, a movie night, an urban roadside cleanup and the geography department’s Amazing Race event. The paint night is a small event where you can easily start conversations and bond, who knew paint could be the reason why someone makes a lifelong bestfriend! Sometimes the overwhelming feelings of not fitting in can be even heightened when you are a queer student.
If you are a part of the queer community I encourage you to get in touch with the Pride Society. This year the Pride Society is doing monthly movie screenings, the first being on September 17th. On October 1st they are hosting a Super Smash Bro Ultimate tournament in collaboration with the SMU Black Student Society. Their room is on the first floor of the student centre which is also a great resource to align yourself with the community. The Student Center is also a hub for everyone. People eat, shop at the bookstore and check out SMUSA! Many events and fundraisers take place there so make sure you check it out. And, if you are feeling a little brave and really want to push the boundaries to get yourself out there, the Commerce Society is hosting its 25th Annual Wine and Cheese on November 27th! Or, go see a play! The Bachelorette Party is being performed by the Drama Society September 26th-28th. Wine and Cheese can delight you with some delicious food and possibly fellow lovers of wine! At the Bachelorette Party, you could be sitting next to someone who laughs at all the same jokes as you! Even if you are struggling, still try to not exclude yourself from opportunities you know you’d enjoy.
All of these societies provide superb events to get you connected with others for the school year. If these societies I listed are not offering anything you are interested in I encourage you to do your own research to find what suits you. Societies can be intimidating to join so it's always helpful to find those initial comfort zones to help your journey. It is not easy to start anything new, but make a promise to yourself. Make a promise that no matter how stressful and overwhelming the year becomes you won’t compromise who you are to get in. You owe yourself that! Theatre, geology, equestrian, forensics? There is something for you at SMU.