Written by Anne Gervase

Thumbnail Photo by Jeremy Bezanger on Unsplash

For immigrants, Canada has become a destination location known for its welcoming immigration programs. In 2021, the IRCC (Immigration, Refugees and Citizenship Canada) reported that Canada broke its record for the highest number of new permanent residents within a year since 1913. Last year saw 401,000 temporary residents transition to permanent residency status. These are now 401,000 former immigrants who no longer have to worry about their visas or permits expiring, restrictions on how many hours a week they can work, travelling outside the country, or what loans they are eligible to receive at the bank. However, immigration comes with many struggles that are most likely to last past any change in residency status.

As an immigrant, I think of this amazing record as 401,000 immigrants who achieved their goals and faced challenges to receive their status. The struggles faced by immigrants vary between situations but can include weather adjustments, language barriers, isolation from loved ones, and prejudice. The most common struggle I’ve heard from personal accounts, particularly from immigrant families, is the cultural difference.

The Cambridge Dictionary defines culture as “the way of life, especially the general customs and beliefs, of a particular group of people at a particular time”. I would extend this definition to include shared societal norms, behaviours, and expectations. Culture can be anything from how people greet each other based on their age to how men and women are each expected to dress. Everyone possesses an understanding of the cultural norms that they’ve been learning their entire lives. Immigrating means getting accustomed to a whole new way of living. It means understanding how people are expected to order their food or greet others. Some may even feel shame for not knowing what is culturally expected of them.

Of course, immigrating is easier for those coming from a culture with aligning norms and expectations. But let’s say that you moved from a country where couples didn’t display affection in public at all, to a country where a couple holds hands on the bus and nobody thinks twice of it. Depending on where an immigrant has moved from, this could make you feel uncomfortable. That is not to say that there is anything wrong with public displays of affection. However, if it’s not something that you saw growing up, it is quite a shock. In 2018, I moved from Tanzania, where this is the case. I recall being at the Toronto airport and seeing a couple share a short kiss as they waited for their luggage, and I looked away in slight shock. It wasn’t that I thought what they were doing was wrong, but rather I felt I was invading a private moment and that affection wasn’t for everybody to see. This is one of many social norms that I had to accept.

I would say that one of the most difficult parts of adjusting to a new culture is learning the shared values of your new society. Values are taught to us throughout our lives, and although some may oppose the values taught to them by authority figures, for others they become the foundation upon which they build their lives. These values can determine many aspects of your life, such as how you view people of the opposite sex, how you treat those with different religious affiliations, or your views on sexuality. Values are more difficult to adapt because they’ve been ingrained in us, and unlike how we greet others, they determine important decisions regarding who we are and the life we live. As someone who moved from a society that valued family dependence and would be considered conservative in its teachings, to a society that values independence and is much more liberal, I can tell you that there is a lot of adjusting to do. As an immigrant, you just have to learn to be comfortable with a lot and do your best not to let your difference in values offend others in your new home.

This difference in cultural values is especially difficult for immigrant families. Typically, children will accustom themselves with the new culture faster than their parents. This may be because they’re more impressionable and they may spend more time with peers at school. This can lead to tension if this new culture opposes the culture of the family’s home country. Suddenly, parents can feel like they no longer know their children and are losing them to this new culture as they begin to value different things in life. In addition, the culture inside the home no longer matches that of outside it, so other people in society will not reinforce the values and principles that the parent would like their child to learn.

I have a much better view of this cultural struggle from the perspective of the child. The children trying to immerse themselves in this culture and simply fit in may feel that they are being held back by their parents. For example, some cultures value independence more than others, which can affect when it’s acceptable for someone to move out or how much freedom they have outside of their family home. Another example is how some cultures view Halloween as a demonic holiday, which leads to children feeling left out when they can’t go to school in a costume like all their friends. Some cultures don’t celebrate Christmas or tell their kids that Santa and the Tooth Fairy exist. These kids don’t get to participate in the excitement of these traditions with others around them which causes them to feel like they are missing out. As they get older, children may feel that they need to act a certain way or do certain things to be accepted by others. When the culture in your house is different from the culture outside, you may be forced to be two different people. No one version of yourself is seen as acceptable in all areas, resulting in the creation of different versions of who you are that will cause the least amount of conflict. No matter what position you are in within the family, there can be conflict.

Immigrating can mean being surrounded by views that oppose your own after years of being surrounded by people who share your perspective. This can bring on feelings of isolation, in addition to the fact that you may no longer be with your family and loved ones. There are also feelings of uncertainty, confusion, and sometimes even anxiety from not being 100% sure of what’s acceptable or expected of you. This experience has been termed ‘culture shock’. This isn’t to say that there aren’t positive immigration experiences, but the reality is that there are struggles related to emerging in a new society that others just don’t see and that may be harder for others to understand. So remember, be kind to those who’ve left all they have ever known behind and are in an unfamiliar place. Provide guidance if they ask or if you feel that they need it. Don’t make them feel shameful for not knowing how something works, or what a colloquial term means. They are doing their best to learn and immerse themselves, but it takes time. Time that others have had their entire lives.

The Cultural Weight of Immigration

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