Living With a Disability

Written by: Jenna McConnell

Thumbnail and Banner photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash


I never liked the word disabled. It felt ugly, wrong, and exclusionary. Now, I, of course, never judged anyone who had disabilities: how could I when they are simply people like everyone else? However, the word made me feel deeply uncomfortable. 

I’ve technically been disabled all my life, but I’d gone about 99% of my life not really noticing it. This has proven to be a blessing and a curse, as when reality inevitably slaps you in the face, it’s that much more shocking and hurtful. Functioning as a “normal” human being when you have a disability, whether it be mental or physical, can pose some real challenges. Whether it be school, work, or social life, adaptations must be made, and with that comes a large mindset shift and a lot of mental turmoil. Below I will discuss some of the challenges the disabled community faces, how you can be an ally to your loved one who may be struggling, and some helpful resources that SMU and the community offer. 

 School can be a nightmare if you’re disabled. If you have vision or auditory deficits, it can take some real creativity to get access to all the course content that you need to succeed. As well, assignments tend to take much longer to complete, leading to a lot of shame and frustration. A classroom environment may be overwhelming and stressful for students with Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or anxiety disorders, or perhaps not stimulating enough in the case of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) or similar mental illnesses. Universities also do not seem to be the most accessible for students with trouble moving around, or who may not be able to sit for these long class periods.  

In a professional setting, having limitations creates a lot of challenges too. You may be nervous or self-conscious, especially when interacting with co-workers or customers/clients. You may have to deal with insensitive and invasive questions or comments from those who don’t know any better, which is both embarrassing and uncomfortable. You may need to complete certain tasks differently than your co-workers. Most companies are quite understanding and have policies in place to help support accessibility, but this does not change the mental awkwardness of being different from the norm. 

Photo by Sigmund on Unsplash

Socially, not being able to do certain things can be problematic. It can be embarrassing to admit you need help, and bringing it up can feel awkward and strange. You may feel isolated, like you’re the only one in the world who has these problems, especially if your specific ailment is relatively rare. Needing a large-print book from the library to be able to read at only 21 years old is a uniquely difficult thing to wrap your head around, as is sitting in a doctor’s waiting room with patients  30-40 years your senior. This sense of “otherness” can severely impact a person’s ability to thrive and make good, lasting relationships in life. You worry if others will judge you, or if strangers will find you odd at first glance. This significantly impacts people’s lives, affecting both self-esteem and confidence.

Now, many of us may know and love someone who struggles with some form of disability. We would all (hopefully) like to be a source of comfort. But how can we do this best? The answer is simple; listen, help where you can, and try your best to understand. 

Lend a Listening Ear 

One of the best ways you can give support is to merely listen to your friends when they come to you. It means a lot to have someone lend an ear for venting out frustrations when things get tough. You may not have any advice to give, or know how to respond all the time, but being there is sometimes more than enough. Showing your support through your presence alone speaks volumes, and is greatly appreciated by your loved ones who are struggling. 

Help Where You Can 

Another great way to be there for your loved ones is to help out wherever you can. This is a tricky balance, as some people may not want help. So, you may want to consider whether your help would be appreciated before acting. Ask beforehand if the person would like help, in general or with specific tasks; this is a very nice way of extending that olive branch and letting the person know that you are there for them and want to help make their lives easier. It also lets your loved one know that you don’t think differently of them for needing assistance. Once again, though, this should be approached with caution, lest your loved one think your offer comes from pity or obligation. Make sure they know that this is a genuine offer of friendship and love, accepting their requests for help however you are able to. 

Be Understanding

Sometimes, having a disability can be an inconvenience to a person and the people around them. For example, someone may take longer to do certain tasks, or may not be able to go out and enjoy all of the activities that “normal” peers do. While this can be disappointing and frustrating, you can be a supportive ally by being understanding and doing your best to avoid making your loved one feel bad about their limitations. Remind your loved one that their disability is beyond their control and no one will think badly of them for needing to do things differently. 

Support on Campus: The Fred Smithers Centre

Located in the student center and online, the Fred Smithers Centre is SMU’s easiest way to get accommodations and support during university. They offer a variety of services, including more time on tests and exams, assistive technology for audio and visual aid, peer note-takers for those who have trouble writing, and much more! It is a great tool for the SMU community to find success while working towards their degree. 

Below is a list of other Canadian organizations that offer information and support for disabilities: 


My experience of being visually impaired is one of millions of stories out there, and no singular story is the same. Everyone will have their own needs and experience unique feelings towards their individual disability. The journey of living with a disability is a bumpy ride, and can be difficult as well as eye-opening. The word disability still sometimes feels slightly weird when I hear it in reference to myself, but I have begun to accept it. It does not have to carry a negative connotation. Having a disability and needing to navigate the world differently is nothing to be ashamed of, nor something about which one should be judged or made fun of. Besides, what is normal, anyway?

Rita Jabbour