A Letter to My Younger Self

Written by Jenna McConnell

Banner and thumbnail photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

When I was fresh into my undergrad, I got some great advice: write a letter to your younger self. As silly as that advice may sound, there are lots of ways writing this type of letter can be both beneficial and fun! It can benefit your skills as a writer for one, helping learn the structure and flow that comes with writing letters. This is a useful skill to have in both professional and personal areas of life, and may also improve your writing proficiency in academic pieces! This practice can also offer a feeling of catharsis or relief. It can give you a sense of closure, and is commonly used as a technique by therapists and other professionals. By addressing this letter to your younger self, you can give yourself compassion and grace, while examining your inner struggles and gain better insight into your current mindset. I’ve done it once or twice before now, and I have found it immensely interesting, and helpful during difficult times. Hopefully if given the opportunity to try it out, you will too! 

This type of writing is not exactly easy, as it can feel foreign and strange to be so vulnerable, even only on paper; but, it can be done. Here are a few tips:

  • Make it a reflection of sorts: write about what you’ve learned over the years, things you’ve accomplished and are proud of, and ideas for the future. 

  • Be honest and vulnerable: this can help you feel closure, and help you to understand and process your mindset. 

  • Be kind to yourself: most people have some things that they wish had gone differently, but unfortunately that is just how it is. It is so important that we use the challenges of our past to grow and learn to live with these decisions. The goal of this exercise is not to tear yourself down or criticize, but to be introspective and build yourself back up. 

Here is an example of one I wrote for my younger, perhaps teenage self: 

 
 

Dear Little Jenna, 

You’ve heard a lot of adults in your life say that life will just get crazier and harder as you get older. I know you just scoffed and disregarded these claims, but I am here to tell you; don’t. They’re telling the truth. 

 Life is seemingly unbearable at times, and can throw you curveballs that you won’t think you can handle. Whether it be learning to time-manage and balance your new “adult” responsibilities (which you are still learning how to do), getting through extremely difficult classes that just make you want to bang your head into the wall, or figuring out how to function and be productive when you’re going through it mentally, adulthood will bring lots of new challenges. You will feel overwhelmed, frustrated, and determined all at once. Some days will feel like you are just barely hanging on to sanity; trust, life as a grown-up will throw you through the wringer and back. 

Now with this warning, I wanted to add that somehow, by some miracle, you are going to be able to persevere and get through it. While it may not be entirely graceful all the time, your resilience and drive to keep going will shine and surprise even yourself! You also will not have to brave the storm alone; you will find an amazing group of people who will surround you with love and raise you up when you don’t feel capable of doing it yourself. There will be bumps along the way in finding these people, too, but they will show themselves in the end and stick by you through some really tough times. Sidenote: you should thank them more for that. 

As well, you will learn some important lessons as you grow up that will be painful, but so important and helpful in the long run. It is okay to not be perfect at everything, and even though it will take way too long to accept this (you still haven’t), you will make great progress. Finding your unique talents and skills will take time and practice, and there’s bound to be some failures here and there. This doesn’t mean you are a bad person. You are human and learning, just like everyone else. 

I guess I basically wanted to say that even though it’ll be scary and hard, it will also be a lot of fun! Growing up is a lot, and you learn things about yourself that you don’t necessarily plan to all the time. There will be laughs, tears, and a LOT of hours reading for class (do the readings, I beg you). But at the end of the day you are going to be just fine, and I hope you are just as excited for the future as I am now!

This type of exercise is both enlightening and transformative, helping the writer to gain clarity and peace with themselves. The letters do not all need to be structured in this manner, but can have any type of creative flair you may wish. They can be used to plan goals for your future, or things you may wish to improve in yourself. It is entirely up to you, and I sincerely hope that you find it as therapeutic as I have.

Melissa Alvarez Del Angel