WHY I PRESCRIBE COFFEE

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So, you know how Mom and Dad suggested that you should stay away from caffeine? And then you know how you followed suit by actually purchasing a coffee the moment you got a chance? Well, if you’re still burdening any of those doubts implanted by your parents (or various other unnecessary health ‘facts’), let me take a moment of your time to outline to you all the benefits associated with coffee. And when you go back home to visit Mom and Dad during the holiday break you can always present these following arguments that I’ll outline. You go prove to Mom and Dad that their investment in your education was so worth it!

Studies have shown that coffee beans are derived from an actual tree called Coffea (not even kidding) and that specific fact my friends is the foundation for my first point, which is that coffee is derived from a green leafy thing, therefore making it a vegetable! Duh…you see where I’m going with this right?? Having a cup of coffee, a day is like having your portioned servings of vegetables. How about that for a valid argument?

Secondly, for my procrastinators out there and night owls…how else do we get PILES OF NONSENSICAL (before you say chill…not yelling just emphasizing) PAPERS DONE? Coffee is to procrastinators what Bonnie was to Clyde, partners in doing the impossible. And more specifically in this case, being able to get that paper done you had due tomorrow, that you had notice for well before a month ago. Anyways, yes to procrastination and the simultaneous coffee-and-paper-is-due-tomorrow adrenalin rush.

Before I delve into my final point can we just take a moment and ask ourselves why café hopping isn’t a thing?! Like seriously though, someone needs to plan out a day where we just drown ourselves in coffee and take a legit day off to recover. It needs to be a thing at SMU. Can you think of the nation-wide trend we would start? Or no wait…it is already a trend…abort mission folks. It’s the thought that counts right?

Lastly, have you ever thought about what exploring different coffee beans might mean for our own development? What is one way you can make an effort to educate yourself on world affairs? That’s right…a cup of coffee. And not just any regular coffee, but coffee that was derived from a coffee bean sprout plucked in Ethiopia. How about that for experiential learning? Give me a second, whilst I go and add ‘well-rounded’ as a skill on my resume. Coffee can take you places folks.

I rest my case…with a cup of delicious coffee of course.

Zahra Dhubow, Editor-in-Chief

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