Drink like a Fucking Adult on St. Patty’s Day

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  1. Eat some food. This seems like a really obvious tip for those of you partying at a pub, but it’s easy to get so caught up in the festivities that you forget you are hungry. Don’t wait until you hear the growling of your angry, empty stomach – plan to snack ahead. Better yet, plan a meal! Eat before you start drinking, and eat while you’re drinking. If you’re at The Gorsebrook, order some food from the lovely Carol; the kitchen will be open as long as she can make it through the crowd.
  1. Drink water too. We’re all grown-ups here, nobody is going to call you a loser for drinking a glass of water between beers on St. Patrick’s Day. (If you are the kind of person who would do that, shame on you! Go home!) We all know that this holiday is an endurance event. If you are starting to feel tipsy, light-headed, or uncomfortable with the level of alcohol in your body – get some water! Most pubs will give you a glass of ice water for free, so there’s really nothing lost here.
  1. Go out with friends you can trust. This seems like common sense, but the real emphasis here is on trust. Obviously hanging out with your friends is more enjoyable anyway – they’re your friends! You like them! You have things in common! But gathering a group of people you can trust is key when you are consuming alcohol. It’s an extra set of eyes to watch how many drinks you’ve had, a third-party to observe if you’re getting too tipsy, and (at the very least) they’re someone to help you out if you end up in the washroom tossing your cookies*. (*Throwing up. Do your best to avoid it, but from a group of people who have been there – you’re going to want a friend.)
  1. Listen to your friends when they tell you you’ve had enough. Think about it. Would your friends really be trying to ruin your day, just to be jerks? What is in it for them by telling you not to drink anymore? Your safety, that’s what. If you trust your friends to tell you if your outfit looks okay, trust them when they tell you to stop drinking.
  1. Only take as much cash as you actually want to spend out of the ATM. Drunk You might not understand that every time you use your debit card at the bar that’s less money you can spend on responsible things (like groceries and bills). Take as much money as Sober You knows you can spend and leave your debit card in your wallet.
  1. Drink a glass of water before you go to sleep. Unless you are 19 and have a body of steel, drink that water before you succumb to sleep. Drunk you might think it’s not worth it. Your bed might be calling you, with its warm blankets and soft pillows. Trust us, Hungover You will hold a grudge against Drunk You the next morning if you don’t drink that water and take revenge with a solid headache.
  1. ­ Think before you tweet. You don’t need me to tell you that social media is permanent. Those drunk tweets, Instagram pictures, and Facebook posts can definitely come back to haunt you. Before you post a sloppy picture on your Snapchat story, showing all your friends how much fun you’re having, remember that it could always end up in the wrong person’s hands. Save it though, because there’s nothing that makes a hangover feel better than lying in bed and looking at all the great photos Drunk You took the night before.

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